You Have a Story Inside

What is your communication bliss?  Is it “snail mail” or chatting on the telephone, texting, status posts, in person chats, writing or something else?  Some of us are outgoing & some of us are reserved.  We need both of this in the world big time.  When I was a little girl I was perceived as profoundly shy because I barely said a word.  The thing is though is that I had so much to say yet it took me many, many years to find my voice.  Courage found though I think is courage found forever.  It is like we can wake up one day & make little steps towards being a wee bit braver & the little steps add up over time.  I remember feeling frustrated with  unspoken humour, expressions of sensitivity, and sharing of ideas, hopes, and more remaining trapped within me for at least a couple of decades.  It took a while for the brave girl within me to open the door to my life & be a full participant in this beautiful messy life that is a daily gift.

What can halt us sometimes from expressing ourselves or letting our stories unfold with others?  I can remember the many reasons why I remained silent for many years while I was much younger.  Some included feeling like what I might share would be unimportant, scoffed, or might bore others.  So I kept quiet for a very long time kind of with an imploding story inside.  Have you felt this way too at times?  It may not make a difference whether we are naturally more outgoing or more reserved…there is a story within each one of us.  There is nothing like a heart to heart connection don’t you think?  When I say story within each one of us, I am really not talking about the need or desire necessarily to attempt to write the next great American novel but rather just to allow our stories to be shared in one form or another with at least one other person in our lives. 

As an aside, one of my favourite ways of sharing my feelings is to write of them.  I cannot imagine not writing in one form or another.  As a little girl I loved to read & I loved to write short stories of my own.  I would write them & because I did not have much confidence I would destroy the stories after a short time so that no one found them & thought that I was silly.  Now I realize that being a little silly is absolutely medicinal.  That is why I try to look for humour in almost all situations.  Making a commitment to write once or twice a week was a stretch initially.  One part of me still sometimes panics a wee bit & thinks “what if I cannot think of anything to write this week or find myself forever out of ideas?”  Two inspirational giants come to mind instantly when those “what if” thoughts come to mind.  One is Maya Angelou who I have admired for over 2 decades.  She had so many true to life quotes that just fit so many times.  The one I am thinking of is the one where she says that creativity cannot be lost but rather creativity leads to more creativity.  The other inspirational giant that provides an antidote to that kind of “what if” thinking is Matthew Kelly.  Last Spring I had the delight of attending one of his conferences & he shared so much wisdom with all of us.  There is one that fits this type of” what if” situation.  Matthew shared that God does not necessarily find the most beautiful, intelligent or most anything person & work through them.  Instead, Matthew shared that God works through those that make themselves available.  I have had several experiences that sure point to this as being true.  I can remember less than a half dozen years ago sitting on the sidelines of many groups & projects in my community…watching safely from a distance…not even giving a toe dip into making our new community truly home by giving something of my heart to it.  Little by little though I found myself saying that I could not find a reason to not come forward & offer a hand.  And I found myself involved in some exciting activities way outside my comfort zone that gave me big time butterflies & went ahead & got involved anyway.  Instead of coming up with a zillion reasons why I was not good enough, I just went ahead & offered to help.  And I made new friendships that I know are lifetime friendships.  I hope you have many of these experiences too & lifetime friendships. 

Within close friendships, don’t you find that our stories are shared so beautifully?  I love it when my friends share their stories with me through laughter & tears.  I love that my Dear Hearts feel that their hearts are safe with me & mine I know is safe with them.

There are so many ways of sharing our stories.  Sometimes we may find ourselves simply reaching out via social media with a short sentence about how our day is going.  We may share that we are having an especially grueling day or a joyful or celebratory day.  When we reach out with this honesty we are sharing a piece of our heart.  I love that we have so many different types of communication so that we can feel connected to one another.  Friends who have known me as an adult & not when I was a kid usually tell me that they think I am kidding about having once been painfully shy.  I am big time ok with that.  It just means that I ripped the lid off the real me & there’s no going back.  I am pretty much an open book when it comes to my story.  The thing that I love best though about any part of my story so far is that so many times through sharing an experience it has deepened friendships & helped in that feeling of “me too” connection.  The thing that bothered me the most during my shy days was that gnawing feeling that I was the only one that felt the way I did.  That felt pretty lonely.  Just over 7 years ago when I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, I remember that alone feeling for almost 2 years when it came to my health.  I found myself becoming quieter than usual though never silent.  I felt alone with diabetes.   I so much hoped for connection with someone else who understood the daily challenges of diabetes.  Through little steps outside my comfort zone over the years I am no longer alone.  My heart’s hope is that you do not feel alone either or misunderstood or silent.  My heart’s hope is that you are sharing the stories within your heart with Dear Hearts in your life.  You matter & your story matters.  I have made some of the closest friendships during the last 5 or so years.  It takes courage opening up to others yet the blessings of doing this cannot be measured ever.  There are stories to be shared & lifetime friendships yet to be & that is a beautiful thing to think & smile about.

My heart’s hope is that you go ahead & share the story that is inside of you.  Your story matters & you matter.  Your story will make a difference.

Smiles, Saundie :)

Happy 2015 Everyone!  I will admit that I have had the feeling of being poked at every day so far this year however the year is young & I am a fiesty gal so I will never throw the towel in on action or attitude to turn this year around big time.  Next Monday's writing is percolating already.  Blessings for a gentle week for you & please share the story inside of you with someone dear to you :)