Truthful Resistance

“That’s too good to resist.”  “I just could not resist.”  How many times have we all heard these statements?  Perhaps we hear this a lot if we are parents.  Our second born son’s nickname is “sugar bear” because he absolutely loves sugary treats.  Perhaps you too have been given the line, “I accidentally ate those cookies for breakfast, Mom.”  It really is just another form of saying that there was a choice not to resist doing something.

Is resistance always a bad thing?  In my mind I believe that so many things can be looked at in different ways.  Resistance seems to be used most often as a reason to give in to a temptation.  It may imply that we just do not possess the will power or fortitude to not do something.  Does that make sense though?  What if resistance were looked at as well through the lens of self-discipline or care for others & ourselves? 

For sure there are some things in life that are out of our hands at times.  We can make decisions & choices that are healthy & positive yet receive less than great results.  An easy example comes quickly to mind where type 1 diabetes is concerned.  It is about A1C results.  We can work our butts off day in day, day out, even moment in moment out making the decision to eat healthy foods, check our blood sugars vigilantly & very frequently, make correction decisions, exercise, give our minds & spirits nourishment & still have stinker A1C results.  Fall is my very favourite time of the year with one exception & that is that unfortunately during the Fall I have to have A1C results done yet again.  I know I am fortunate because I only have to get A1C’s done twice a year at this point.  Honestly though I am annoyed big time that even as I write these words every blood sugar is being calculated inside my body towards this upcoming lab & A1C result.  Then getting the results is a lot like being called into the principal’s office when you did not do anything wrong.  During this A1C time period, I have eaten in a very healthy way, exercised, checked blood sugars, corrected, tried to look after my overall health & well being but still I already know I am going to get disappointing results.  I am a realistic optimist.  Although I am no “mathie” I sure can see the trends & averages stored in my assorted glucose meters strongly indicating that my A1C is going to stink.  No bonus points for trying…that is the rub with type 1 right.  It is a punishing disease mentally & physically.  I hate getting A1C results big time.  And I hate thinking about it twice a year.  As much as I try to think of A1C results as information that can be used to make future decisions, realistically the reality is that there is not much that I could have done differently during this time period.  My body got slammed by hives, psoriasis & countless colds that sent my blood sugars soaring & diving all over the place putting me in a lot of chase mode.  The great news is that at least with my pump I could get in the “game” chasing the sugars.  Without my pump I believe I would have felt pretty powerless.  This is just my own personal experience.  Everyone is a beautiful original so that is not to say that many people with type 1 who do multi injections have this experience.  Everyone finds what works best for his or her body & lifestyle.  There is no one size fits all for people living with diabetes after all.

Can we resist getting sick?  That may sound like a weird question.  In my experience the answer is no & yes.  Let’s take colds or the flu for instance.  What can we do to resist or prevent these nasties from invading our bodies & not only giving us the cold or flu itself but also messing big time with our blood sugars?  Our answer is probably the canned one that we hear from the medical community of washing our hands more frequently, perhaps not shaking hands during cold & flu season with others and staying away from others who are infected & if we get colds or flu to stay home.  I don’t know about you but I cannot believe how compromised my immune system appears to be since I catch everything going around in record time & with a vengeance even with big time precautions.  So that is kind of a yes to resisting that kind of sickness.  Another kind of yes answer to resisting getting sick pertains to the hives that I am still battling 3 weeks later.  Could this have been prevented?  Well, Yes, I suppose so in my case since the culprit that got these dozzies started was stress.  If I had not worried in excess & taken a more “zen” approach to life then it is quite possible that I would not be covered in itchy spots & painful welts.  Getting to “zen” is a work in progress due to my nature however I am working on taking a much lighter approach to life’s challenges.  Worrying is worth resisting for me at least.  The no answer to can we resist getting sick is easy to answer.  Type 1 for example is something that none of us did anything at all to bring on.  Another example of a no answer is psoriasis.  It is already in my extended family genetics although I did not learn this until I was diagnosed with this beast of a disease myself.  Could I have prevented myself from getting psoriasis?  No, I could not have because it was just a matter of time before what was silently simmering due to genetics came to a full boil.  The boiling point for me happened to be getting strep throat last March.  So as much as I would love to have been able to have resisted getting type 1 & psoriasis, somewhere along the line both were already simmering & ready to come into full being into my adulthood.  No woe is me yet also I do not ever beat myself up over what I did or did not do to get stuck with these unfortunate beasts.  And I don’t let anyone & I do mean anyone at all try to tell me that any one of us suffering with these diagnoses’s brought them on ourselves in any way.  That’s where resistance again is a great thing.  I resist big time the voice in my head that says “just let it go.”  Instead I speak up for myself & for all of us living day in & day out with type 1 & other autoimmune diseases. 

How about resistance about behaviours that we allow from ourselves or others that is not good for our emotional well being?  That is my Achilles’ heel big time.  Specifically, my work in progress is my lack of resistance to using the word “no.”  By nature, I love to care for others.  I love to see others happy.  I love to do things for others that will bring a smile & some joy.  I love it big time & I love it too much which might sound odd.  I love doing these things & being these ways out of balance to the point where I let myself get drained dry & exhausted.  And I have cared in some situations where I have allowed myself to get used & manipulated.  The over use of the word “yes” & resistance to using the word “no” when necessary have lead me to getting wiped right out & in turn pretty sick on top of that.  And I realize that I the only person that pretty much received a big no was me when I have let my “yeses” get way out of balance.  The “no” to myself came in the form of:  no time to do the activities that re-energized me, no to quiet time to think straight or just be, no to going to activities or being with people that are inspiring & encouraging, no to proper amounts of sleep, just a lot of “no” to the best choices.  This saying no when healthy & needed is a huge work in progress & a big struggle for me.  I am big time determined to come closer to the “yes”/”no” balance.  It is worth it to try.  In the meantime, I will cut out beating myself up over my past lack of success in this area.  The past is over.  The slate is clean.  I resist bringing all the past baggage with me everywhere I go like a heaping garbage bag.  I resist beating myself up.  It is the easiest thing in the world to be our own number 1 critics.  Let’s resist that big time!

Call it resistance, discipline or determination with truth…to me it is all a work in progress & that is okay.  The good news is that the tortoise won the race.  We each live one day at a time so we get to take the race that way too. 

My heart’s hope for you is that you give yourself encouragement to resist the things that don’t bring you wellbeing without self criticism.  And while we are at it we stand up for one another too by not letting others criticize us or blame us for how our health has turned out.  We stand together, strong, with truth on our side after all.

Smiles, Saundie

May this week our references to "I just could not resist" pertain to:  taking gentle care of ourselves, saying yes to planned quiet time & another yes to unapologetically saying yes to re-energizing ourselves.  My yes in progress to these things is in the form of a wee family getaway very soon to Ottawa & Montreal to experience some adventures that we have put off too long.  Blessings for the week ahead as we approach Thanksgiving very soon.  May every day be cherished in one form or another with gratitude.  Every day contains some thanksgiving after all :)  Next Monday's story is "Discovery & Belonging."