Echoes, Noises & Shadows

Have you ever given yourself a time out as an adult?  Have you found at times that too much of something even enjoyable loses its sparkle without a form of continuous gratitude?  We can begin to or even totally take certain things for granted over time.  What could the antidote be to ensure that this does not happen?  We each answer that question for ourselves.  How about if we are spending more time enjoying an activity than we feel comfortable with?  Is it difficult to cut back on that activity?  How attached to that activity are we?  Do we ask ourselves these questions from time to time?  Realistically, because there are only 24 hours in each day there is in my mind kind of a type of time budget that I try to spend wisely each day.  Frankly some days I do a better job at that than others.  That is just a part of being a human being so I don’t beat myself up over that.  I just take an honest look at what the day looked like & how I spent the day & do better the next day if I am not thrilled with the truth.

It is especially easy for me to give myself a time out at least for six weeks out of the year.  During that time frame there is something that I have prepared myself to give up that I really enjoy.  In place of that I add other things that are acts of service to others.  It is like spiritual training not unlike athletic training.  It is similar in that in order to try to get better at something you really have to throw yourself into it with everything that you have to break through to the next level.  For the past couple of years the thing that I have given up is Facebook.  I really enjoy my time on Facebook so I knew that I would miss it & that is a good thing in many ways.  I love feeling connected so I admit that social media is especially attractive to me as it is an instant & constant way to stay connected to others.  How much is too much though?  We each answer that question for ourselves.  For me during my “time out” from it I surely realized that I need to balance things out a bit better.  It is one thing to look forward to connecting yet it is another thing when I realized that my Facebook time had become part of my morning ritual like coffee.  And like the potential addiction powers of coffee, social media can become addictive too.  Picking up the phone & planning a day & time to meet up with Dear Hearts balances out the potential addiction to social media at least for me.  Having a book with me while waiting for appointments versus checking in on social media means that I tend to jump ahead on the stack of books that I  long to read.  It all just reminds me about balance & that I don’t need to rely on technology every minute of the day.  When I pick up the phone or write a letter or read a hand held book I like to joke with our sons that I feel like a pioneer in today’s society.  The pace becomes gentler & my thinking becomes clearer & it is a peaceful feeling.  After the 6 week hiatus each year, I always really look forward to reconnecting again on Facebook yet just like old friends & new ones, I will treasure both our technological advances in connection as well as the old-fashioned ones of being in person visiting with Dear Hearts or writing paper & pen letters or reading from the lovely stack of cherished books I have at home.

If your cell phone rings on a wooded path does it make a noise?  If it does is it at all natural?  It is again a balancing act for me when it comes to my cell phone.  I really don’t use it that much.  It was purchased for emergencies like potential flat tires or my husband or sons needing to reach me immediately.  Also, I really enjoy listening to music on it.  Other than that it is just not that big of a deal to me.  Although I always take it with me when I go on walks I kind of don’t want to because I really find it detracts from the peace of the walk if it rings especially if it is say a call from a telemarketer…kind of an unnecessary interruption.  It is difficult to get away from the noise of everyday life.  It can be a challenge at times finding a pathway to walk on that you don’t have to hear the roar of cars.  It is so worth it to me to just find a quiet piece/peace in nature to get away from the noise of life & just think & appreciate the surroundings of nature.  I absolutely love that I live in an area where this is pretty easy to do just this.  And I am incredibly grateful for this every single day rain or snow or shine. 

What is with the news?  What happened to the news?  Is it just me or does news in the media just not resemble what it once did?  Growing up I remember the evening news being objective & provided in a fairly direct way.  Today though I find that when I listen to the evening news I am inclined to turn it off part way through the broadcast most of the time.  It is not that I don’t want to know what is going on in the world.  I care about what is going on in the world & who it impacts.  The thing that drives me up the wall about media news today is that it seems to be more about dramatic effect than the news that is being reported.  Many times a tragedy is reported in any part of the world near or far complete with dramatic music & filming& worse of all in my mind, the reporters seem to be caught up in promoting the drama side of the story that he or she has created for the purpose of entertaining viewers.  Other people’s pain is not entertainment.  The news then in its dramatic noise can be like the telephone ringing on a wooded path.  It can steal peace.  Again, I am not suggesting for a second that it is not a necessary & good thing to know about what is going on around us.  My thought is simply that the news needs to be reported in an ethical & caring fashion versus the dramatics for the sake of entertainment.  We have oodles of entertainment already in my opinion so the news ought to be separate from that.  Media will ultimately provide to viewers & listeners that which we allow.

Echoes, shadows & noise can visit in different manners.  If we have type 1 or another “365” health challenge then we hear & see echoes, shadows & noise surrounding  us often likely.  The echoes, shadows & noise come in the form of reminders that the health challenge follows us everywhere we go.  If we walk along that wooded path, do the echoes, shadows & noise of type 1 diabetes come with us?  If we go into low blood sugar, that could be a noise, even a scream at us that it walks with us everywhere we go.  The shadow of type 1 may include not just a regular shadow but a shadow that looks like it is carrying a suitcase of provisions just in case we need them.  The echoes that go through our minds may include our worries of how our health will endure throughout our day in day out management of type 1.  At times these shadows, echoes & noise can attempt to steal away our peace.  The antidote for this though I have found is the absolute belief  that there is something bigger than diabetes or me or my body & my peace returns a thousand fold. 

The echo or reminder also to me with this permanent diagnosis of guttate psoriasis resonates in my mind & in my vision as out of my peripheral vision I still see these darned spots on my arms & legs.  The echo of the day we were diagnosed with type 1 may be with us yet as well.  The shadow of diabetes follows us in our daily activities whether we invite this shadow or not.  There is something bigger & stronger though than these shadows & noises & echoes of type 1 diabetes.  This gives strength in spades & peace beyond description.  It makes it not only possible but so much more to put one foot in front of the other with determination each day however the path unfold or the day brings I find. 

When the shadows, echoes & noises of type 1 appear we can find ourselves feeling a whole range of feelings.  We are human so some days we may feel stronger than other days to fight type 1 & its onslaught at times.  There are days when a super long walk in the woods is medicine for my body & spirit in combating the type 1 beast & its shadows.   Other times sharing time with others who have the same shadow following them is medicinal.  Then there are times when a hug and or an encouraging word is just right.  Other times a belly laugh is what is needed.  Sometimes a good, unapologetic cry is the prescription.  The list is endless.  Today I happened upon something else that I had forgotten is helpful in the fight against the type 1 beast.  It was something that I had purchased shortly after I was diagnosed over 6 years ago.  I bought it because for several weeks immediately after being diagnosed with type 1 I found that I was having panic attacks at bed time.  It was due to a fear at that time that I would not wake up because I did not trust that my body would react properly to insulin.  Thankfully, the panic attacks subsided after a few weeks after a profoundly loving conversation with 2 Dear Hearts who reminded me of what I knew all along & that is that I am stronger than I will ever know & that I am not in this alone & that each of us are way more than our bodies & they reminded me how much I was loved.  I hope you have someone in your life to remind you of all of these things too.  It is an indescribable gift.  About a week after the conversation with these Dear Hearts just over 6 years ago I found a Cd by Dr. Richard Surwit about meditation specifically for people living with diabetes who are having difficulties relaxing prior to sleep time.  Every night for a month I played the Cd & slept like a baby.  Then I found that I was fine to just go to sleep at night without the cd so I tucked it away for a future time.  Today I just happened to find the cd.  Over the past number of months my sleep has been of a poor quality.  It has been due to physical challenges versus the emotions that I had felt upon diagnosis.  Tonight, I plan on listening to the cd before sleep time again.  I feel confident that it will be helpful again so it is like receiving a gift twice in a way & that is pretty neat I think.  After all, it is not okay to let echoes, noise & shadows prevent us from having a peace filled sleep & thankfully I have the antidote for that. 

Can we have peace amongst the shadows, echoes & noise of type 1 diabetes?  We each answer that question for ourselves.  My heart’s hope for you that the answer that we share to that question is “yes we can & yes we do!”

Smiles,

Saundie  :)

May you find peace that far exceeds any shadows in your life.  And may you always have a Dear Heart to share the journey.  Next Monday's story is yet to be written.