Dude, it's About the Pet you've Got There

How funny is it when you hear someone referring to someone else as “Dude?”  A few years ago, our oldest son & his friends basically started every sentence referring to one another as “Dudes” & that really seemed so funny.    My son & his friends were 9 years old at the time.  How old is a “dude” anyhow?  Well, I think a “dude” is somewhere between 5 & let’s say over 35 years old.  What leads me to say this?  Yesterday, our youngest son was calling me a “dude” at the beginning of his sentences.  My favourite sentence starting with “dude” in reference to me by Alex yesterday was:  “Dude, I know you are 23 years old this year.”  My response was, “thanks, Alex; you are right, Mommy is at least 23 years old.”

The word “dude” is kind of endearing through our boys so it is a word that makes me laugh & smile.  It would be a challenge for any topic after the word “dude” to be anything other than one of excitement.  Not only does the word not bother me, it just is a fun word in my mind.

Are there some words or phrases or inferences that are the pets that we can do without?  I am referring to pet peeves.  Thankfully, I find that I don’t have very many pet peeves.  How about you?  When we think about any peeves that really bother us on an ongoing basis even though try as we may, these “pesty peeves” remain.  Pet peeves by another name is the “hot button” that bugs you or I.  To share with you, my ongoing “pesty peeve” is unsolicited reference, advice and or inaccurate communication about diabetes.  A mentor shared with me years ago that when other people have a little bit of information about a given topic that often the brain will automatically try to fill in the missing pieces of information.  The mentor went on to say that unfortunately in most cases, the filled in information is inaccurate yet the person essentially believes that he or she has an accurate idea of the topic matter. 

When you think about your hot button or pet peeve, does it too tend to be one involving either diabetes or another ongoing 365 challenge in your life?  Please do not get me wrong.  I love making & taking the opportunity to build awareness surrounding diabetes.  Additionally, it is great to dispel myths if the person is willing & open to hearing what diabetes is really like.  If the other person however has already made up his or her mind or is making derogatory remarks, insisting that they are correct or the worst one of all…saying that they understand yet the person continues to make previous inaccurate statements & behave the same old way even with the information shared.  It is great to understand that you & I cannot make choices for others.  That means that if another person does not want to think differently about a chronic illness or another matter, then that is something that we choose to accept.  We do our best in sharing information yet the other person has to take it from there by their choices & actions.  The other person may choose to be unaffected by the information that you or I have shared.  That is a lost opportunity for the other person in my mind yet I know I have to accept that the other person must make decisions for himself or herself.

Recently, I met a lovely lady at a social gathering for the first time.  She approached me & said that she noticed that I was wearing an insulin pump.  She shared that her grandson has type 1 diabetes also.  Right after she had said that, she next said that she was sorry that she had mentioned diabetes because I was sure to be uncomfortable about talking about it.  I reached for her hand & assured her that not only was I very comfortable talking about diabetes, but also that my heart smiles to reach out in support to other folks who also have diabetes or other 365 challenges.  We started a new friendship over diabetes!  That is cool.

There are a few folks in my life that I will admit that I have a pet peeve with their ongoing statements.  I will share right away that I am a sensitive gal so what may bother me may not bother others & that is “exactly right.”  A small group of folks though often say insensitive things to me about my health.  Time after time, I attempt to correct their misconceptions yet it is evident that they are not hearing me.  It is a tiny group so I choose not to focus on this often at all.  Truthfully, it is unfortunate though because the tendency is that my family does not share much time with this tiny group of folks because they push that hot button of insensitivity towards my health.  I am working on getting to an attitude within myself that the insensitivity does not divide us.  It is a work in progress.    The great news is that we always have the choice to love others for the sake of other even when the behaviours that are being chosen towards us are not unifying.  Even in those moments of feeling that “pet peeve” welling up, we get to realize that there are so many more folks out there that understand what we are truly going through.  We have a community of battle buddies that either share the health challenges that we face or buddies that have lovingly chosen to sensitively, compassionately try to understand the day to day journey that we travel.

A  while ago, I had an encounter with that pet peeve.  The great news is that through sharing the frustrating story with other friends who have type 1 diabetes, I soon came to realize that this “pet” is one that others also have.  Then, together, we shared a few moments of emailing wee jokes back & forth.  The laughs were medicinal.  Belonging & understanding is the antidote to division & that feeling of being misunderstood. 

My heart’s hope for you is that if & when you have a pet peeve about your 365 challenge that you too have some battle buddies that you can go to & receive understanding & belonging. 

Smiles, Saundie :)

Have a beautiful week & I look forward to sharing, "Templates & Enthusiasm" with you this Friday.  :)