Why is it that every January we are met with a barrage of media commercials telling us that if we are to change our nutrition or exercise program for the better, this is the perfect time to do it?  Is it because it just so happens to be the time right after Christmas where we may have feasted a little too merrily?  Or is it because the calendar has changed over & we have a brand new 12 months to look forward to?

If you join me in the “frozen Arctic”- like winter climate, then you may be looking at indoor exercise more than ever right now.  It has been at least a couple decades since we have seen an old-fashioned winter like this.  As I look at the size of our current snow banks at the end of our driveway, it brings me back to when I was a little girl growing up in Georgian Bay.  That is very much “snow belt” & shoveling should have been considered an Olympic sport there.  I was more of a spectator & most definitely the beneficiary of the incredible amounts of snow that we received in Georgian Bay.  My Dad humoured me big time when I shoveled alongside him with my tiny red shovel while he scooped out 99.9% of the snow.  Once the snow was shoveled into a tall bank, out came my crazy carpet…bright banana yellow & the snow banks were an instant playground.  Layer on that these really cool albeit “K-tel” plastic fort snow brick makers & I was in snow heaven.  What I do not remember is really ever feeling too cold.  I sure feel it this year though & you probably do too.

The thing I remember vividly as a child growing up in Georgian Bay is that there was no end of places to play for hours on end outside.  All of us put oodles of miles on our bikes.  My dear friend “Bones” as we endearingly called her was always a phone call away or we were ringing one another’s doorbells daily ready to go out to play outside for hours on end.  We always lost track of time & never seemed to get hot, cold or thirsty.  We just were having old-fashioned fun.  We really did not worry about what we ate & surely had not heard of any diet or nutrition program or new finagled exercise thingamagigger.  We burned off all our meals with old-fashioned exercise. 

A few days ago I stopped to watch a brief news story on television about 2 identical twins (both medical doctors) that went on 2 distinctly different nutrition/diet programs.  You may be familiar with the news story as well.  One brother ate a diet that prohibited carbohydrates therefore he instead ate protein & fat & the other brother ate a fat-free diet.  The results surprised me.  The brother who ate just fats & protein (no fruit, no vegetables) lost the most weight of 8lbs in 4 weeks.  The brother who ate no fat lost 2 lbs in 4 weeks.  Both doctors (brothers) stated that the diets that they were on made them feel miserable.  The brother who lost the most weight remember did not eat carbohydrates.  Which brother do you think became pre-diabetic?  It surprised me to learn that the brother that ate no carbohydrates was the one who became pre-diabetic.  He spoke of how this diet taxed his body into this state.  Both brothers were & are incredibly fit & continued to exercise as usual throughout the 4 week trial. 

We can all make our own conclusions from the study.  One thing that came to mind for me is that sometimes in life we can complicate the simple…or lose sight of old-fashioned common sense.  For me, I am not interested in giving up protein, healthy fats or healthy carbohydrates.  My personal decision is to balance my food choices out & to take a common sense approach.  Has my metabolism slowed down a great deal since I was that girl growing up in Georgian Bay?  You bet it has.  Do I realize that I cannot get away with not keeping track of my calorie & carb intake?  Yes, I understand that.  Do I need more exercise than I am getting this winter?  Yes, I do.  How do I know?  The scales & my clothes tell me that 4lbs have been gained over the winter.  It makes sense since my super long brisk walks have been reduced to mere walks around the block.  I don’t like those extra pounds & I will lose them again.  What I won’t be doing is going onto one of the diets heralded in one of the magazines available at the endcap of every grocery store check out.  My plan is simply to increase my exercise & be smart about calorie intake while balancing the food groups.  I know this means that I won’t be the “hare” that looses weight in a hurry but rather a “tortoise” about it.  That is part of practicing patience which is something that I have been dedicated to practicing more of.  Everyone is a beautiful original so my thoughts may not be for you.  That’s okay.  For me, I am not interested in doing any type of radical diet program.  Each person gets to decide what makes sense to him or her.  The biggest take away that I got though from the 4-week trial that the 2 doctors participated in was that you can sometimes be surprised with results of diet programs.  To be honest, I would have never thought that eating no carbs at all could lead to an otherwise healthy person becoming pre-diabetic.  That astonished me frankly.  It makes me think that balance seems to make sense at least for me. 

As an aside, I made a decision around the time that “Wiarton Willy” declared that we are to have 6 more weeks of winter to embrace the snow again just like that wee girl from Georgian Bay.  Aw, she’s still very much there.  My crazy carpet is no longer banana yellow but if I see one, I will definitely buy it & use it.  I do have a snow saucer & guess who will be sliding down the snowbanks & toboggan hills every chance she gets for the final leg of this winter!

My heart’s hope for you is that you find & embrace something “tea”-riffic every chance you get through all 4 seasons for the rest of your life.

Smiles, Saundie :)

May common sense be in full force all this week & next Monday's sharing is yet to be created :)

We are enjoying a gorgeous day out in thickly treed woods with only the sound of birds singing, chipmunks zinging by almost smiling at us on a perfect summer day…hold on…and right, mosquitoes buzzing their warnings that we are about to become a delectable meal for them. 

Wait a minute.  You may be shaking your head a wee bit as you read about summer in the woods as most of us are experiencing a deep freeze & it is the middle of winter.  And how do we get from mosquitoes to cheese to balloons in one story? 

Okay, mosquitoes must have a purpose right?  If we have a passion for science and or the outdoors or live with someone that fits this description then we will get the factual answer to this question.  Although I love trees, nature & a quiet, medicinal walk through the woods, I do confess that I detest mosquitoes whether they serve a purpose or not.  They are agitating while they swarm around & long after the bite they give us, the memory lives on.  It just may be no mere coincidence that mosquitoes are bugs & a lot of us use the term “that bugs me” when we are bothered by something in life.  As a wee aside, other bugs don’t personally “bug” me but mosquitoes could take “a hike” on an uninhabited island if you ask me.

There are numerous ways to communicate that something is bothering us.  Depending on my blood sugars I will admit that my vocabulary grows in that department.  Let’s stick with family friendly descriptors for now.  Even as a wee girl growing up, one of the terms that I remember using was, “that really cheeses me off!”  In the spirit of something recently fitting into the category of “cheesing me off”, I am about to share an ongoing challenge that you also may be able to relate to if you too have type 1 diabetes.

On a positive note, there are organizations that advocate, commercials on tv or news stories or other forms of media that make genuine efforts to get the word out there about type 1 diabetes.  Some of these communications provide factual, real information about type 1.  Here comes the portion though that really cheeses me off.  It is specifically those instances whereby the group that is for example doing a news story or event that demonstrates that their intentions are both less than honourable & inaccurate.  Recently, I experienced this big time & man was I cheesed off.  The corporation had arranged for children with type 1 diabetes to participate in a sporting event with a national sports team.  Please don’t get me wrong, this is the part that makes me smile as I picture the kids enjoying an afternoon out with sports heroes that they admire.  The part that “ticked” me off is that the corporation did a news piece on a major tv station & the corporation went on & on about diabetes stats & how this corporation is dedicated to ensuring that we do everything we can to ensure that diabetes does not become the epidemic that they are using actuarial type tables to project forward.  The corporation described type 2 diabetes & the usual talk about how as a nation it is in our control to greatly diminish diabetes if we choose healthier lifestyles.  Meanwhile, in the background there is a photo shot of a group of children with type 1 diabetes from about ages 3-9. 

Why would any of this bother me & why might it bother you?  If you live with type 1 diabetes or someone that you love has type 1 then you may not be amused either with this particular news story & how it fell short in the genuineness category as well as accuracy.  First of all, that is complete balderdash to go on & on about what we can do to eradicate diabetes if the story is about type 1 diabetes.  Anyone who lives with type 1 knows that type 1 & type 2 diabetes are in many ways as different as day & night.  Looking at the children in the photo shot, my heart hurt in so many ways.  For one thing, they could not have prevented type 1 from coming into their lives.  Even doctors do not yet know what brings type 1 diabetes on.  How then would anyone with type 1 prevent it & how then are the alarming stats helpful I wonder?  It may be great to shock some folks into perhaps taking better care of his or her health yet if we keep the story in the context that it presented itself within then it is strange.  The corporation took the opportunity to speak about type 2 diabetes yet they were sponsoring a type 1 event & did not appear to know the first thing about type 1.  I wondered why someone in the news story did not provide information about type 1 diabetes since the story was supposedly about children living with type 1 diabetes.  Then a few things occurred to me.  First of all, the corporation may have had less than honourable or genuine reasons for entering into the story.  Were they doing some marketing or public relations strategy work?  If so, perhaps cute children would make a “feel good” looking television news story?  Again, these are just speculations on my part.  And I am an optimistic person by nature yet I quickly saw through the news story.

Besides the point that the news story at no time provided an iota of information about type 1 diabetes, the news story also referenced type 1 as a childhood disease.  What?!  It seemed as though the story was inferring that from a certain childhood age to an older childhood age, individuals have type 1 diabetes but after that somehow, pouf.  That seems to be a myth still abundant in society.  Many people assume that if you have diabetes & you are an adult that you have type 2 diabetes automatically because you are not a kid after all.  That seems like strange logic to me because it is a little like saying that any/all chronic illnesses would be outgrown once we enter into adulthood.  If only that were true!

This is where we journey from cheese to balloons.  One of the treasures that I have been joy-filled to be able to participate in over the years is a reading program with kindergarten-aged children.  I have always loved reading & it is the most natural thing in the world to enthusiastically introduce children to the delights of reading complete with actions, sounds & animations.  There is one children’s book written by Jamie Lee Curtis called, “Where Do Balloons Go” that came quickly to my mind as I watched the news story supposedly describing type 1 diabetes.  In the book, the premise is that when any of us let go of a balloon & it floats away, we never know where it will go or end up.  The book shows through imagination for example that our balloon may end up journeying alongside an airplane or beside an astronaut to name a couple.  As I watched & listened to the news story, I thought to myself that type 1 adults must be a little bit like the balloons that we let go of.  How?  It is like at a certain age, people don’t seem to think that we have type 1 diabetes anymore.  The number of times that people have been baffled by me saying that I have type 1 as an adult is staggering.  I have even had people question me & insist that I am wrong & that I must actually have type 2 & I am mistaken.  Maybe you have had something similar happen to you too.  In any case, where do adults go who have type 1 diabetes since we don’t “grow out of” type 1?  Unlike the balloons, we are very much grounded here on earth, still battling this beastly thing called type 1 diabetes. 

And our loved ones that we live with certainly also know that we don’t “grow out of” type 1 diabetes as they see us up yet again in the middle of the night treating yet another hypoglycemic blood sugar.  As much as my Dear Heart husband watches me with concern during the either too high or too low blood sugar times, I see him too & I am thankful that he is grounded too & I am grateful every single day for his love.  How about if we are adults with type 1 & we have children of our own?  They too are grounded indeed since type 1 reaches everyone in a family.  Sometimes, I think that it would be amazing if they did a news story & had the families of people living with type 1 describe what life with type 1 is really like.  It would be genuine & accurate I believe& far from the world of cheese or balloons if that was to happen!

My heart’s hope for you is that you are surrounded by family & friends that “get” type 1 diabetes.  And may we each continue to seek & build lasting & caring relationships with other friends with type 1 for that spirit of “me too” support as well.

Smiles, Saundie :)

Wishing you a week "bug free" & next Monday's sharing is yet to be written  :)

Do you remember one of the first times that you heard the words, “you are doing that the wrong way?”  Perhaps, the words were in response to a question that you had or maybe instead they were in the form of unsolicited advice.  What is it about unsolicited advice that can turn an otherwise calm, rational human being into an emotionally-charged person in record time?

Of course others have experience with most things in life yet each & every single one of our lives is original.  No one can live or fully understand the life that we have been given to live.  There are points of a great deal of understanding yet none of us are meant to be carbon copies of any other person who has ever lived, is living or will live in the future.  I am personally big time excited about that.  That means that we each have a “mission” on this earth that is ours alone.  It can take time & willingness on our parts to see our purposes revealed to us.  It will come to each of us.  I don’t believe that at least for me that I would ever know what my purpose/mission is if I lived constantly within the world described in “The Screwtape Letters.”  In other words, it takes energy & action to take ourselves out of the “noise” of the world & the overstimulation & messages that just simply may not fit us.  Purposeful silence is not really promoted by society.  The thing is though that we always get to make a choice day in & day out as to what we are going to push through to feed our purpose.  Some days, it could be as small as a 5-10 minute scheduled time of silence in prayer or meditation.  Or it could be a walk in nature with the discipline to not text or talk on our cell phones during that time.  To quote one of my favourite children’s authors, Dr. Seuss, “oh the noise, noise, noise, noise, noise, noise…”  For sure The Grinch was referring to something completely different in terms of the noise.  The noise of joy & children’s laughter is something that I absolutely love.  The noise however of something ringing frequently or cars zooming about, the tv blaring and things like these are something that requires an escape hatchet.  It is the easiest thing in the world to have a day full of noise from the time the alarm clock goes off in the morning until the time our eyes close at night.  No wonder many folks are “edgy” out there in the world.  It does take intentional actions & choices to air lift ourselves out of the noise for brief intervals each day.  Like many folks, I do not succeed in grabbing even 5-10 minutes of silence every single day however most days, I will give something else up in order to get the silence. 

Recently, I have come to realize that it seems to have a better outcome for me when I have structured silence.  You see there is a wee conflict within me.  It is that I love to create & I naturally gravitate towards the “flying by the seat of my pants” approach.  Are you familiar with that one too?  Enter type 1 diabetes almost 6 years ago though.  I found that once type 1 arrived, my former approach did not serve me well physically or emotionally.  When do we tend to change the way we have always done things?  Some of us welcome change.  Habits though, we may agree can be a bit trickier to change.  First, we come to realize that we have a habit that is not serving us well.  Then perhaps we fight the habit for a while.  We may just accept the habit versus changing it.  It depends upon the price perhaps.  We may ask ourselves what the consequence of not changing the habit is.  Through our actions, we do communicate with ourselves whether we are willing to pay the price or not.  The physical habits may be a bit easier to identify as either health building or otherwise.  If it is a good physical habit, then we are going to choose hopefully to continue with this.  If the habit is not health building then we have a choice about the price of this as well.

A new friend of mine shared with me a few weeks ago that she is going to give up smoking.  Inside I felt jubilant.  She is aware of the health risks & is planning to try to improve her health.  I am not yet sure what I can do to help her in her plan to give up this habit.  It is a balancing act in life sometimes between being careful not to offer unsolicited advice & caring enough for others to support them.  In this case, my friend had opened up the door so to speak on the subject of smoking.  I tried my best to give her words of encouragement & potential ideas for her to choose from to replace that habit with other habits that could lead to her being healthier.  We talked about walks, tea, and other ideas.  I like to call this “solicited support.”  When we ask others for help, there is something very powerful about this.  Then we get to share ideas of ways to get to our goals.  I know that I have walked in the footsteps of “giants” of support & still do.  Why would I not offer my heart in any way possible?

If we have type 1 diabetes or another “365” challenge, we may find ourselves on the receiving end of unsolicited advice on the other hand.  Yikes!  That can be exasperating.  We may try our best to be gracious when folks who do not have the challenge share advice out of the blue with us.  They may tell us about a “cure” that they read about.  Cinnamon seems to be one that I keep being told about.  It can be tough not to “implode/explode” when folks share in an unsolicited manner that my type 1 diabetes can be reversed.  Come on!  Guess what, if that were true, then why would any of us choose to continue to voluntarily live with type 1!  It is not logical so why do folks sometimes share this nonsense with us?  You know what, I don’t know.  I try my best not to resort to either sarcasm with people or negativity when they offer up these “cures.”  Do I feel frustrated often about this kind of thing?  You & I both are likely answering with a resounding, “Yes!”  That’s our opportunity to advocate, correct myths & educate.  My style is “feisty love.”  You will have your own original style & that is just right.  One gentle approach is to hand the person the title of a book to read that is accurate.  How about when a sentence has the word “should” in it when it comes to unsolicited advice?  Personally, that is a word that I would not miss if we were to discard it entirely from the English language.  

We may share the feeling that unsolicited advice when it comes to our diabetes or other “365” challenge is unwelcome.  Do we all get unwelcome things in life?  We probably do.  Take type 1 diabetes as the prime example.  That is the hugest unwelcome event in my life.  None of us “solicited” our health challenges.  The question is how much grace can we muster, collect & instill within ourselves to serve us on life’s journey.  Realistically, we are very likely going to continue to receive unsolicited advice where our challenge is concerned.  What do we do with that?  We each answer this question for ourselves.  We are in this together after all yet we are at the same time each exact originals.  Maybe we respond with “feisty love” advocating, or gentle education in the spirit of “that’s not okay or right” or something positive & impactful. 

My heart’s hope is that whatever our original responses are to unsolicited advice that although at times we feel like rolling our eyeballs in frustration that we instead dip into our own personal supply of renewable grace & choose to educate others on the truth.  That is after all why the quote “shed some light” on any given matter is stated often as being a reference to the truth.  We get to be lights.  That is something that we are in together as well with our own individual styles.

Smiles, Saundie :)

May all the advice that you receive this week be in the form of encouragement that you have invited.  Next Monday's sharing is "Factoring in the Cheese & the Balloons."       :)

Okay, so it is officially a new year.  Do you find that you are almost conditioned to expect to implement changes to your life as you discard the 2013 calendar & hang up the 2014 calendar?  I will admit that I do.  While the logical side of my brain tells me every year that any day of the year can be the day to begin a fresh start, the emotional side of my brain is still conditioned to believe that changes are best implemented in January each year.  My logic & emotions fight one another every year on this topic.

Have you found that if you feel really well overall that your logic has a tendency to kick in & when you feel unwell that your emotions want to rule?  This is something that I experience often.  When I feel well, I really tend to think things through & can conquer days that are challenging pretty well.  On the other hand, when I am feeling unwell, even the smallest “mole hill” seems to justify an initial surrendering to less than helpful emotional responses.  It takes some type of shift to get out of a funk sometimes I find.  Sometimes we force the shift & other times it forces itself.  For me, either way, it is a good thing if the shift takes me out of the funk that not feeling well has established. 

2014, I had decided a couple of months ago was going to be a better year than 2013 because I had been not fond of 2013 with its barrage of type 1 diabetes struggles.  The struggles with type 1 were even measurable on paper as I stared back every single doctor’s visit at an A1C of over 7% for the first time since my diagnosis with an initial A1C in the 9% range.  I had been trying so hard to manage the type 1 & the results just stunk.  Each of us know though that while life is beautiful that it is not fair to anyone whether we live with a chronic disease or not.  With 2013 though behind me as of Dec. 31^st, I looked to 2014 with excitement.  This was going to be a better year beginning in January!  Did you feel that way too?  I hope that it has been a fantastic year for you so far. 

January 1^st started off pretty well & I felt well & we had a great family day together complete with a homemade feast.  January 2^nd though things seemed to have derailed & now over 2 weeks later, 2 colds in a row & the flu, my G.I. issues acting up, back spasms, elevated blood sugars, unexplained low blood sugars in the night, sleep disturbances galore & other health pains from type 1, I am left wondering what I was thinking.  Frankly, I am reminded that the time of year to expect positive health changes just may not be January for me.  It came back to me that pretty much every January-March, I seem to catch every cold or flu that is out there.  Realistically, a better start to a new year for me just may be in around April each year.  It is tough to take on the world when you get one cold & flu one after the other for most of the winter season.  I am not complaining but rather just checking my thinking a wee bit.  While I hope for & try to be cold & flu free, I think that it may be helpful to balance out the hope for a fresh start with the reality of the bugs that go around this time of year.  It may be the time of year to prepare for a bit gentler pace & not get frustrated when the inevitable colds & flu hit yet again.  Perhaps my immune system is not the greatest & I am guessing it is also “compliments” of the beast of type 1 diabetes.  The thing is that although I am not throwing in the towel on the remainder of the winter season as far as my A1C goes, I am also keeping in mind that I can only do so much to manage where my blood sugars go when colds & flu hit.  When I get sick my blood sugars go erratic & I chase them but I will always do my best.  At this point, I feel pretty wiped out not just from the colds & flu but also from being woken up by low blood sugars in the night followed by sky high sugars in the morning.  Type 1 is one thing yet having other things on top of it is really exhausting at times.  Okay though, I refuse to be reduced by type 1 diabetes & to throw in the towel of enjoying life during the winter months.  Ultimately, I have come to realize that when I am feeling physically unwell with illnesses on top of type 1 that I have to find a way to get out of the funk & be myself…that gal that was there long before I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.  And the best part is that I know that I can because I have done it numerous times before.  Maybe you have felt this way too.  As a wee aside, I want to share with you with a smile that just this morning I was having a chat with my husband & he looked at me & said, “You know, I have noticed that you are an even stronger, more determined person in the last few years & I think that type 1 is responsible for that strangely enough.”  It is not that any of us want to have type 1 or any other “365” challenge yet it was pretty cool to have my Dear Heart husband say that to me.  And I feel stronger too & that is also a cool feeling.  Do I want to be bombarded by things that add to the type 1 diabetes?  No, none of us do.  Do I know that I am strong enough to deal with whatever comes my way?  Yes, big time!  Are rest stops or a gentler pace needed or encouraged at times?  For me, I would say, big time yes again.

There are times in life don’t you find that external demands keep us going at a pace that is less than gentle.  I have found that since last September that I have had an extremely large number of external demands & that I have been looking forward to slowing things down.  I try really hard not to let type 1 have a say in what I am going to take on.  Realistically though, somehow, it tends to especially if the additional illnesses that arise from type 1 pop up & then are layered on in large numbers to type 1.  There are times when my body literally just tells me, “no way.”  That is part of life.  And I know too that anyone that gets the flu probably feels like their body is telling them “no way” as well.  For our family, the gentler pace was meant to begin finally around January16th & that was another reason why I was becoming excited about 2014 getting here.  Things were still going at a frantic pace while I experienced 2 colds, the flu & the other multitude of physical challenges that have come my way since being diagnosed with type 1.  I had to keep going & that was brutal.  Frankly, I ignored my body’s screams at me of “no way, no way, no way!”  I can be unbelievably stubborn & I save the biggest part of this stubbornness for type 1. 

Have you found though that you can be in a funk & keep pushing yourself even while you are feeling physically very unwell?  That is kind of where I have found myself being at during the first half of January.  The physical illnesses & the pace I had been going at was really getting to me.  What was going to get me out of this funk I wondered for several days.  On January 15^th, I got up still very sick & it came to me that it was going to be the day that the funk left.  And it was.  It was our youngest son’s 7^th birthday & he was up at the crack of dawn as he wanted to celebrate every single moment of the day.  I heard him get up before my alarm clock had even gone off.  On each of our sons’ birthdays, they take the day off of school & we have a day of fun together for the entire day & evening.  Our son was so excited & it took me no time at all to break free of the funk that I had been in since January 2^nd.  The spirit was of:  Fun =me-D-I=s.i.u.p!  In other words, the day was totally about Alex & his 7^th birthday.  That meant that in order for him to have fun, he needed the mom that I am minus diabetes & also minus illness & in order to do that for the day, I would need to “suck it up princess!”  Although, I would not be able to tell diabetes nor the other illnesses to take a hike or a vacation, I had to tell them, “no way” were they going to have any part in the day at all.  As far as our 7 year was concerned, I was going to get ready for the day & give him every ounce of energy & enthusiasm since the day was totally about & for him.  Physically, of course I was sick big time but emotionally, I was funk free & that has remained after January 15^th.  Seven years ago, our son brought his first burst of joy into our lives & he continues to in so many ways.  Each of our 3 sons brings joy to our lives & I feel so grateful to be able to be their mom.

Happy New Year again everyone & this time “funk free!”  My heart’s hope for you is that when or if the funk comes into your life throughout the year that you have someone or something that breaks you free of this. 

Smiles,   Saundie  :)

Wishing everyone a fabulous week & next Monday's sharing is "Originals & In This Together."  :)

Have you found that throughout life you have either heard or read people sharing viewpoints on why something significant happened in life in the form of references to either karma or Guardian Angels?  It has been my experience that many folks are very comfortable to reference karma yet slow to give credit to his or her Guardian Angels.  Some folks are simply indifferent to either karma or Guardian Angels or don’t want to share their views.  Personally, I am “allergic” to indifference because that to me is not a place where love can live.  Over the years, I have learned that there is a huge difference between indifference versus being unattached.  Indifference in my mind is a way of saying,” I don’t care.”  Being unattached though means making a loving choice.  I am not referring to people at all in the reference to being unattached.  Rather, it is the choice for example of being unattached to owning the outcome of anything.  No, I don’t at all mean not being responsible for actions.  What I am getting at instead is choosing to do our best, in the spirit of doing the next right thing in service of others & not being attached to the outcome.  This example speaks so vividly to me as it emancipated me in a big time way a couple of years ago.  It was when I learned through a mentor that being free of outcomes lightens our loads. 

The mentor explained that to choose to give up or be unattached from outcomes is equivalent to recovering from an addiction.  Then he went on to explain the 4 main groups of worldly addictions outside the counseling frame of reference.  As he described the first three, frankly I felt relieved because I could honestly say that I was not “addicted” or attached to any of those.  Oh, but the fourth one that he described hit me big time!  He described the addiction or attachment to good feelings.  Perhaps if I traced my family tree back there would be a link to Emily Posts because I have the “manners gene.”  Even as a young girl, I had a self imposed rule about the proper amount of time to take to send a written thank-you note, what it should contain and more.  If something came up to delay the thank-you then my guilt would absolutely consume me until I completed the cards.  Manners I adamantly believe are a treasure yet my thank-you process has been overhauled.  Just as much as I needed to get my thank-you cards done , I also use to be very gleeful when I received thank you notes.  These notes made me feel very good…good about the act of service, good about myself & just really good in general.  The flip side of this though is that if someone did not thank me for a heartfelt act of care, I felt sad.  That is where I realized that I was attached to good feelings.  That got an overhaul too once I realized this just over 2 years ago.  Instead, I learned that doing the right thing for the sake of just doing something good is the right way for me to live my life.  I got good at choosing to be unattached from the outcome of doing an act of care & simply focused on doing the right thing because it was right.  What a relief!

Have you heard people say things like, “that’s karma” or “karma will take care of that.”  “Ouch”, my brain says.  It is a gift that we have freedom over our thoughts.  And it is awesome that we can disagree with one another & remain friends.  If you are personally invested in the belief in karma, please know that I don’t mean any disrespect to you.  We will need to choose on that topic to disagree & remain friends.  I don’t believe in karma personally.  To me karma does not fit in my life.  Let’s take type 1 diabetes for instance.  Did karma give me & others this disease?  You better believe that there is no way that is true.  The truth is an adamant, no one with type 1 did anything to bring on this disease.  How about when someone says, “karma will take care of that?” “ Yikes”, my mind says to that.  If someone does something to me that is hurtful, I am not interested in karma intervening.  The only answer that makes sense to me in those situations is to forgive the person & not allow the behavior to continue.  Sometimes good things happen in our lives.  Not just good things, great things, maybe even miracles…what about those?  Are they karma?  How did we deserve those great things or miracles?  My answer for myself is that they are way beyond something called karma.  I attribute those things to God working through either my Guardian Angel or others.  For sure miracles in my life cannot be attributed to a score card that is being kept on whether I have made good choices or bad.  All I know is that they have happened because of love alone.

It is almost comical how responses can be varied when the topic of Guardian Angels is opened up.  I have had some people declare Guardian Angels to be a fairy tale or some other variation.  Then other times, folks have either been offended by the mere idea or so uncomfortable that they look like they may need to make a speedy getaway.  I find myself often in a situation of balancing out the respect for others to not feel uncomfortable along with me standing up for my beliefs.  Sometimes, the choice is for me to say nothing at all & that’s okay too in some situations.  My intention is not to offend.  As a mentor once said to me, “Saundie, choose the hill you want to die on.”  There are some matters essential for me to stand my ground on & some to merely smile, and zip it.

My belief in Guardian Angels is unshakeable.  Not only do I believe that I have a Guardian Angel, but more than that, I believe that this Angel has literally saved my life countless times.  I could never feel indifference to this since I have felt this angel’s presence & continue to so vividly.  This Angel saved my life at least 3 times before I had type 1 diabetes.  Now my Angel works 24 hours a day without sleep breaks.  There have been too many times to keep an accurate count of times that my Angel has either woke me up from sleep in the night to find out that I was in low blood sugar.  Last week, I was going to attend 2 engagements & found myself knowing that I needed to instead return home.  Within about a half hour each time, I went into low blood sugar.  It would have been more difficult to tackle & combat the low blood sugars had I not listened to my Guardian Angel.  Sometimes, we do everything just right when it comes to type 1 diabetes management & things go awry.  I will say firsthand that my hormones are messing with my diabetes big time.  The great news is that hormones are no match for my Guardian Angel.  Some people think I am a wee bit kooky when I admit my fervent belief in my super strong Guardian Angel.  I am okay with that.  It is a little like defending a friend.  If I would stand up for a friend, than how could I possibly fail to stand up for my Guardian Angel?  And I feel the presence of our sons’ Guardian Angels too & am thankful.  I won’t always be with them, but their Angels will never leave their sides.  That gives me peace for life’s journey.

My heart’s hope for you is that you know this peace too.  And may you discard indifference & embrace love.

Smiles, Saundie :)

Wishing you a peace-filled week & next Monday's sharing is "Originals & In This Together."  :)

Most of us at some point in our lives have watched Star Wars.  Do you have a favourite character from this series?  I do & that is definitively Yoda.  When someone can be both humourous as well as wise all wrapped together, I am pretty much an admirer of that.  A line that I have quoted as a parent especially when speaking with our oldest son is by Yoda, “do or do not, there is no try.”  Not for a minute am I suggesting that trying is a bad thing if we each are giving to the best of our abilities in any given situation.  It is more in reference to this kind of non commitment type answer that can be out there in the world.  It is a lot like saying, maybe I will do this or that if I feel like it or it is convenient.  Hmm, that is not okay with this gal.  I was raised within a family that taught that if we gave our word then it is as good as done.  Also, putting others first & the golden rule were solid & life lasting principles taught to me as I grew up.  Whether I felt like it or not, if I gave my word, the expectation was I would follow through.  As an adult it makes it easy to make decisions based upon those principles.  A yes means yes & a no means no. 

You know something, I don’t remember my parents giving the answer, “maybe” during my growing up years.  We may have a budding debater contained in our second born son.  The word no to Brian is an instant challenge.  When he hears the word no, he really must be hearing the phrase, “now let’s have an argument.”  He challenges every” no “that he receives.  When I flip the situation & look at it from a slightly different angle I realize that Brian is already showing signs that he is not going to “cart blanche” follow the crowd.  I have never met anyone who asks more questions than he does.  He wants to understand how things work & why things are happening.  He likes to know what is going to happen well in advance even with his inevitable question while heading off to school of “what’s for dinner tonight Mom?”  Even though it is exhausting & frankly a wee bit exasperating, at the end of the debate or what seems like a drill of questions in the defendant’s box, a “no” means exactly that.  Our sons know that when my husband & I give an answer that we take the time to think about their requests.  They also know that they will receive the “if you need an answer right now it will have to be no but if you give me some time then it may be yes or no.”  The boys know though that when they receive a yes to something that it will happen.  A yes is a yes.  It is a yes whether we feel like doing it or it is convenient or if we need to jump through extra hoops or if the type 1 beast is misbehaving.  As much as possible, I try to keep a flexible date approach to our “yeses”.  In other words, if something is going on that causes my blood sugars to spiral or roller coaster then the yes is still a yes however as a family we try to choose 2 or 3 possible dates to do these activities on.  Frankly the majority of the time I just “suck it up princess” with myself & keep going whether I feel well or not.  I am more than the beast called type 1 diabetes & my family means the absolute world to me & it is so true that our sons are growing up profoundly quickly.  I remember meeting each of our sons for the first time.  Matt liked drama from before he was born with an “I am going to be born early” & yet in the end having to be brought into the world kicking & screaming 2 weeks after his due date.  We joke that there must have been a tv that he was watching before he entered the world because he was just too comfortable to go ahead & be welcomed to the world.  When Matt was born, my husband & I cried tears of joy to finally meet this wee love.  I stayed up all night with Matt his first full day & night of life & just cuddled him & watched him against the advice of the disapproving nurse who was on duty.  Then the tears turned into tears of exhaustion as Matt had colic for over a month & was just inconsolable.  When Brian was born, it was a well planned out birth by Brian himself on a humourous note.  Brian had mathematically come up with the day & time to be born with organization.  Matt just happened to have a play date already scheduled & had been dropped off by 8:30am.  My husband had left for work & I had my quiet day planned out with our golden retriever.  At 8:35am, I felt unmistakable contractions & called my husband who was supposed to be doing a presentation to the president of the company he worked for.  Oh well, Brian had other plans.  My husband had been at work a whole 15 minutes however he could tell by my voice that that was the total of his work day for that day.  Driving to the hospital was a bit of a scare when we found construction & Brian was on his own tight schedule to be born he had obviously decided.  We barely made it to the hospital got into an exam room, the doctor arrived in time to see Brian being born & said, “could he not wait for the doctor or a delivery room!”  Then she laughed.  By 11am we were holding our second love.  Big brother Matt came by the hospital in the afternoon to meet his wee brother & simply said, “he’s cute but he sure could use a bath!”  Brian knew the meaning of a definitive yes from birth since he decided yes, I am going to be born right now even if it is on the way to the hospital & now “chop, chop Mom & Dad!”  Alex is a helper, is considerate & has a wee smile that he quietly gives away.  He waited until grandma & grandpa came to stay with us before making his first appearance.  My Mom & Dad had been at our place for just a few hours when I realized that I needed to make a speedy getaway to the hospital to meet our third little love.  Alex was born in the middle of winter at 1am on my Grandpa’s birthday.  Like my grandpa, Alex’s favourite thing to do is get out in nature.  Fishing especially is a passion that links my grandpa to Alex.  Alex has always had profound patience in nature & has a gentleness when he is outside that he was just born with.  When Alex’s big brothers met him, Brian said he was “just okay” & Matt proclaimed that “he will be my lawyer” (whatever that means right?) 

Type 1 diabetes also reinforces how I feel about the words yes & no.  Some of the things I have learned in the past 6 years living with type 1 include:  being profoundly aware of my big yeses, not sacrificing bigger yeses for no’s because I have made choices that are not the best ones for me, that just because I have diabetes, I don’t have to say no to anything,& that some of the best yeses are yet to be in the form of new friendships.  Life is about choices so I realize that if I say yes to things that are not really meant for me that I will find myself saying no to things that matter most.  That goes against everything inside me so I really don’t want to do that.  And I am not interested in saying maybe about passions or enthusiasm either.  A yes means yes big time in bold colour with two exclamation marks & highlighted in life to me. As a lighter aside, when I am out for lunch with a group of girlfriends & the server asks whether anyone wants dessert, I don’t need to check with anyone at the table to see what they are doing.  It is as easy as just deciding yes or no mostly based on how heavenly the dessert choices are & whether I would not attempt to make the dessert at home in a million years.  It is kind of a laugh when as the only person with type 1 at the lunches, I declare that for sure, yes big time, I am having cheesecake or chocolate torte or some other yummy treat.  Then everyone’s dessert police goes away & a whole round of desserts come out guilt & drama free!  I don’t say no to dessert just because of type 1 diabetes.  I enjoy every single tasty bite.  I may at times choose to say no to the calories like anyone else.  I say yes big time to occasional decadent desserts though & turn the dial up on my attached friend, my insulin pump.  The coolest & most unexpected thing that I have learned about yes & no in relation to type 1 over the past 6 years is that there are a lot of friends to say a big yes to.  The yes is to meeting other people with type 1 as well, supporting one another on this journey with encouragement, humour & understanding & letting all of this turn into friendships.  I love that!  This past year, many people have become new friends who also live with type 1.  We did not meet by chance.  We became friends because each one of us said yes to ourselves & one another…yes, we would like to meet & become friends & find one another.  How cool is that!  A maybe did not lead to these friendships, but rather an active yes.  And I am learning so much from these new friends.  I love that.

My heart’s hope for you is that you say a big yes to what you are most passionate about in life & a huge yes to welcoming new friends into your life that you can laugh with, cry with, learn from & grow with.  Yes, we are in this journey together & I am honoured to call you a friend.

Smiles, Saundie :)

May all your "yeses" this week lead to brand new big time beautiful friendships & next Monday's sharing is "Karma, Guardian Angels, Indifference"   :)

Once in every great while, we receive the incredible surprise of having someone placed on our path that is a kindred spirit.  We recognize this person instantly.  They feel like instant family & like we have known them a lifetime.  My heart’s hope is that you have had many kindred spirits come into your life & continue to find you as you journey through life.

When we stop to think about the timing of finding our kindred spirits or them finding us, do you find that it is often when we have a question or a struggle?  They come to be the answer to a prayer I found.  The best part of finding a kindred spirit in our company is the instant way that we can choose to find the time to be together in joy.  It is that sense of timelessness & presence that is an indescribable gift.  I cannot believe how many kindred spirits I have been blessed to come to know over the years.  It is funny though how my perspective & gratitude & awareness has changed over the years about kindred spirits.

It seems that the older I get, the more I appreciate & instantly know a kindred spirit & “get” that I have been given a gift.  Then I know it is up to me to put into action my principle of always keeping what matters most way ahead of anything else in life.  It is one thing to think & even believe this yet quite another to practice this.  We don’t get to schedule when we will meet our kindred spirits obviously.  What that means to me is that I had better become pretty proficient in shifting my schedule around when kindred spirits are set upon my path.

This past weekend, I had the joy to happen upon a kindred spirit.  Our family was attending a community event & afterwards, there was a social gathering time.  Our boys have inherited my love of social time in spades so going to the social time was a given.  My husband is a patient fellow who basically bides his time while the boys & I chat away to others.  My husband is admittedly eccentric in that he is very comfortable to do a presentation naturally to a large crowd of people however he cannot find anything to say one on one in conversation or in small groups.  It continues to baffle many people as they describe him as outgoing & yet I always declare that he is actually pretty quiet & is uncomfortable during social gatherings. 

While in line for treats, I found myself joking with many folks that I already knew & some folks that I was just meeting for the first time.  I thank my Dad for his outgoing nature for “the gift of the gab” & my Grandpa Brown for the gift of a sense of humour.  And it may sound strange to hear this but I also thank type 1 diabetes for the permission that it gave me to just be myself unapologetically.  Hey, sometimes, I get the “rolling eyeballs” from people & I certainly have a reputation as someone who is over the top enthusiastic.  I am absolutely 100% okay with that.  Some folks would prefer that I dial it back considerably however that is not going to happen.  Just like you, I am not happy to have type 1 however I am over the top about the meaning that it brought to how I live my life…the “getting it.”

By the time I reached the coffee pot, there she was my kindred spirit.  While we had not met before, we “knew” each other instantly.  Within 5 minutes of first meeting one another, we had each said, “me too” more times than we could count.  And our faces were sore from smiling in a great way! We were the last ones to leave the social time yet we each knew that we wanted to hear more of one another’s stories.  It would have been the easiest thing in the world to have said goodbye & felt kind of sad to see the time end as we were walking out as they locked up the building.  Instead, we just looked at each other & agreed that we would go for a walk together & share more time together.  My Dear Heart husband took our sons home & smiled at me with that knowing glance that spoke volumes.  He knew that I would not be home anytime soon & that in my mind I had already crossed out anything else that I had planned for the rest of the afternoon.  He can tell when a kindred spirit is on my path.  He has seen this many times before.

How cool is it to literally be walking on a path together with a kindred spirit who has just been set on our path!  Our “me too” moments continued for 4 hours.  Out of the many “me too” moments, one that did not surprised either one of us is that we both chose to work in the counseling field & that we were both given sentimental hearts & that we are both hugely enthusiastic.

One lesson that type 1 diabetes taught me about life is to seize the moment.  Prior to type 1 most of the time I did not exchange contact information with a new kindred spirit but instead simply hoped that our paths would cross again.  Often times they did not cross again & I felt sad about that & more than that disappointed in me for not exchanging information.  Yesterday, I was quick to reach into my purse & write out my contact information & my new friend did the same.  I get it now that when someone dear comes into my life that I have been given a gift & it is up to me to keep the friendship & the celebration going.  Diabetes has taught me to take a chance & that yes sometimes we get hurt by being our sentimental selves, yet greater than that there is a place where kindred spirits live.  We don’t want to miss that.

At one point during our time together, I went into low blood sugar.  How do we behave when we have just met a new person for the first time & our blood sugars are melting down or boiling up?  I will admit that I am not too comfortable at the best of times with having to deal with blood sugars in anyone’s company.  I had already shared with her naturally while chatting with her that I have type 1.  She is unfamiliar with type 1 yet she asked a few caring questions in the most natural way that I have ever experienced.  Without words, I knew that even type 1 was not going to allow us anything but joy during our visit.  When I went into low blood sugar, I let her know that I would need to have some sugar which I always carry with me.  We had a seat & the low passed & it was such a comfortable feeling not having to worry about diabetes impressions or stigmas.  And best of all, my kindred spirit thanked me for taking care of the low & telling her.  It is always the same origin that sets Dear Heart kindred spirits on my path & you may know this to be true for you as well.  When I am given the gift of a kindred spirit new friendship, the lesson of diabetes has always reminded me to be present, seize the gift of sharing time together right then & there & exchanging contact information so that we can cherish our friendships always.

My heart’s hope for you is that when you see your kindred spirits that you know them instantly & seize the opportunity to continue the friendship always too.  Oh and as a joy-filled aside, there is someone that I “met” recently as well who is profoundly dear & beautiful that I look forward to sharing “oceans of tea” within Stoney Creek beginning in 2014 .   And it should be a laugh to find my “goat path” over to see my Dear Heart since I am such a “chicken” about driving on major highways.  Beyond that fear of the busy highway though awaits someone absolutely who is a bright light of love & friendship.  I cannot wait Dear Heart.  And for 2014, may it be the year of the kindred spirit.  These Dear Hearts are out there waiting to love you right back…

Smiles, Saundie :)

Happy New Year Beautiful Souls & next Monday's sharing is, "Yes or No, Yet Never Maybe!"   :)

Does it seem like it has been one long, continuous full month during the months of November & December so far?  Maybe you can relate to times when out of nowhere life becomes one climb uphill after the other. 

On November 27^th, I sat down & wrote a blog sharing that I will post in the New Year.  I tend to write a few sharings ahead of time.  The title of that blog is, “Either a Prison or a Beautiful Haven.”  That day I had 3 profound giant heroes on my mind as I wrote.  Each of these heroes were imprisoned & they did something world changing.  One of the gentlemen that I wrote briefly about that day was Nelson Mandela.  It was unbelievable that the following week this giant hero would complete his journey on earth. 

Every morning I receive a “Sunrise Inspiration” quote in my email inbox with a quote from wise people.  Some of these people are with us still & others have completed their earthly journey.  This morning, I was feeling especially restless & went ahead & got up over an hour earlier than needed.  It has been quite the year with the uphill climbs as I mentioned & yesterday yet another mountain emerged that deeply troubles this Mom.  As I came downstairs, my automatic action was to turn on my cell & have a wee look at the “Sunrise Inspiration” quote for today.  Today, the quote is from Nelson Mandela.  He had so many profoundly wise quotes that he has shared with the world.  Today’s is, “after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.”  That quote lit me up with much needed strength this morning.  Although I don’t know the context that Nelson Mandela was sharing his words within, the words spoke to my heart very deeply.  It reminded me that we must never give up & must stand for what is right even & especially in adversity.  It is not meant to be easy.  I doubt that most of us set out to complicate our lives yet at times our lives get messy.  We must grow bigger than our mountains in strength I believe.  And I was reminded of a saying that a mentor shared with me over 10 years ago of “you have to choose the hills to die on.”  She went on to explain that there will always be challenges & things that are not just or good in the world yet we cannot feasibly fight every single battle but instead must choose the “hills to die on” or the battles worth our passion & effort in fighting.  Do I believe that most parents would choose “the hill” of standing behind, or in front of his or her children if they were being tormented emotionally or physically or both?  You bet I do!  Do I see our sons through rose coloured glasses?  No definitely not.  Are they held to principles & values consistent with what our family is all about?  Yes, big time, yes!  For folks who know me well they would laugh to think of me as anything approaching a “hot head.”  I am by nature an optimistic peacekeeper.  When someone who is by nature a positive person who tries to lend a hand appears in a situation where they are all geared up for a battle would that tend to send off an alarm that something very wrong is happening?  I hope so. 

Type 1 diabetes wise I have found myself climbing mountain after mountain & most especially in November & December.  There have been other months in 2013 that have been uphill climbs as well.  Every single uphill climb with the challenges of type 1 lately have left me more determined than ever to conquer each next mountain with dignity, and big time strength.  We certainly have times when we are physically tired & downright exhausted from type 1 or any other “365” challenge yet when we think about our spiritual determination, what do we notice?  These diabetes mountains this year leave me stronger spiritually & I hope intellectually as this year closes.  What I have found especially surprising is just how this strength that has been built through the uphill climbs of diabetes challenges this year are now being translated into something for someone else that I love, love, love, love, love.  That makes my heart sing & smile big time.  The situation my loved one is going through sucks big time yet the strength that I have for this newly emerging mountain is limitless.  Please don’t get me wrong, I do not pat myself on the back for having these strength reserves.  There is support, encouragement & example from countless people that I have both met and not met that have completed their earthly journey or are still walking me home.  Battle Buddies climb mountains (imagery) together.  God has given me graces to build strength & it is up to me to put in the effort to make the climbs & then help others by sharing compassion & advocating.

Before I was diagnosed with type 1 I really don’t think that I was very passionate about being in an advocating role.  To me advocating kind of meant in your face kind of lobbying. This had not felt natural for me since my nature is one of being a peacemaker.  Peace I have come to learn does not necessarily happen all by itself.  I have come to realize that there are many ways of advocating & once you find your passion for advocating, it is a natural way of just being.  And for each person, we each have our own original way of advocating.  For me, I find myself advocating for the very large part in a gentle way.   We may choose to begin for example to educate our families about type 1 diabetes or other “365” health challenge.  It is not uncommon for people to think that they understand what someone else is going through yet be very far from the reality of the situation in terms of true understanding. 

Do you find that it is pretty natural to want to advocate for someone who is being treated unjustly?  How about if the person that is treated unjustly is a minor?  How about if it is someone in your own family?  There may be times when we choose not to advocate for ourselves yet we find the energy & strength immediately almost like an adrenaline surge when a loved one needs to be advocated for.    That is the situation that I find myself in right now.  Thankfully, the type 1 advocating has been in a lot of ways a practice arena for building upon my skills of stepping in for loved ones when they need someone to get in front of an unjust situation.  Remember I mentioned that I have never seen our sons through rose coloured glasses?  That is true.  They are held accountable for their decisions & behaviours & natural consequences are a natural part of life accordingly.  Also, I realize that as a Mom as much as I would like to put a bubble around their worlds & shield them from hurts & upsets that that is unhealthy for them.  And we can ask ourselves whether we try to fight battles for our children that we have not given them a chance to rectify.  Also, I find myself assessing each situation based on the specifics of the situation.  At least 99% of the time, our sons do not need a “momma bear” to get involved in a situation that they would like to independently handle.  I respect that.  As long as there is no physical or emotional detriment involved with the boys or others when they meet up with challenges with others, I choose to guide them versus step in front of them.  Let’s face it, it is really not going to likely be perceived as a favour by our children if “Momma Bear” steps in when it is not warranted. 

How about the other 1% of the time?  My personal belief is that most of us likely do not advocate all of the time for almost anything in life.  Advocating is perhaps a small portion of our life experience.  We each get to choose the hills to advocate for & discern which ones are better served in silence.  If a person is perceived for example as a “hot head” most of the time then when there is something hugely unjust that very much needs a strong advocator, how credible do you think the person’s efforts will be perceived.  We each answer that question for ourselves.  As of yesterday, I find myself in that 1% of the equation where getting in front of a situation is wise & warranted.  It is a situation where a loved one has been tormented for 8 years at school & the situation has escalated to our loved one been physically assaulted.  The “Momma Bear” in me kicked in easily as you can imagine.  The advocating began in the spirit of “this is not okay” and the adults in charge of the situation are aware that this is the hill that I will climb fully to the top with no loss of strength.  I was profoundly angry with the adults in the situation yesterday.  Do I believe that we should be able to expect our children to be physically safe in environments that are being supervised by professional adults?  How would you answer that question?  Do you share the opinion that we have a whole lot of lip service & words on pages that are being regurgitated out of the mouths of many adults about the seriousness of bullying?  It seems that most of us see the problem however what we don’t see is an action plan for situations where children are literally abusing other children.  Too often we have all seen the headlines of children who have not received help in severe bullying & tormenting situations & the devastating consequences of this.  At times I feel like a bit of a dinosaur when I describe my childhood to our boys.  They have asked about game systems and personal computers & cell phones from my childhood.  “No”, I have told them, “we did not have those things growing up.”  Best of all in my mind though is that we also did not have the dark shadow of some of the personal hand held devices either.  I am referring to the potential for our collective children to bully or abuse one another via cell phones 24 hours a day.  That must be overwhelming to a young person in that situation.  As adults, we each choose when & whether our child will receive a cell phone & rules around the hours & location of cell phones.  It is for our children’s safety that we do this.  In my mind rules are meant to guide our youth in a positive way.  When there are no real rules provided by adults in a given environment, how might this potentially affect our children?  I believe that I am showing love & care when I set guidelines & rules.  They are meant to assist our boys into growing into respectful, compassionate, responsible and caring citizens.  That’s one of my jobs as a Mom.  Would it be easier to not bother?  I think it would because there are few people that I know that want to have arguments.  To enforce rules, there will be arguments or challenges.  The point is too though that to have rules & not have an action plan for enforcing them is pretty absurd.  So that brings me full circle back to the well that we are in as far as anti-bullying goes at least in our province.  Few would argue that there is a problem.  We hear lots of lip service about its importance.  Action plan?  Not nearly much of anything.  Are we failing our children in the way that it truly matters?  This mom thinks so based upon personal experiences.  I look forward to seeing that change.  Will I be hoping for change?  Yes, I will be.  To be passive though about something that has detrimental consequences to the children of our society is unconceivable & not an option.  It is an area that our collective children deserve our passionate avocation until meaningful action is put in place & not merely politically “cya” words polluting our air.  On a positive note, I personally believe that we will see significant advances from our governments in 2014 for meaningful protection of our youth where bullying is severe & evident.  If we expect our children to put their best possible efforts into bringing home the grades that are reflective of their God given abilities then how can we as adults do any less in the arena of avocation for our children? 

So, here is yet another mountain yet there is no option for becoming tired on this climb.  The strength reserves will be needed.  Although type 1 diabetes is as always very unwelcome in life, the strength built while battling this disease are paying off big time on this climb.

My heart’s hope for you is that you always have the strength reserves for any mountain challenge in life that you have. Maybe you will find that you too have built strength through the challenges that you have to conquer daily as a result of type 1 or another 365 health challenge.   And may you always know that we are climbing together.

Smiles, Saundie :)

May the peace & love of Christmas be a gift that you keep with you all year long :)  Next Monday's sharing is all about meeting people that become instant friends & is called, "There You Are My Kindred Spirit!"  :)

When you think of life’s turning points, does your mind automatically go to a celebratory or painful reference?  When I think of huge life changing turning points, I realize that there are only a few that I remember daily.  Sure, there are oodles of smaller turning points & they are valuable yet today my mind is going to the place where the humungous turning points have happened.  Beyond that, there is one mega turning point in my life that changed my life forever & I am thankful for this every single day.

With this mega turning point that I am sharing with you, it presented itself in the form of as Robert Frost so beautifully says in his famous poem as “two paths.”  There were 2 choices before me & one path required that I soul search, seek wise guidance and stretch my thinking.  The other path required very little of me.   Have you found yourself on these major forks in the road at times too?  Can you think of one turning point in your life that changed the course of your life?  Was the situation that presented these paths to you of a negative or positive nature?  In my mind good can sometimes come out of bad situations & bad can come out of good situations & all the other combinations & permutations.  Life is full of choices & I personally love that.

Often when I think about life I think of it in terms of it being a collective work of art.  We may want to be wise about who & what we allow to be written in our life’s story.  We cannot always control who we share time with all the time or what we allow into our minds continuously however during the times & opportunities available to us, do we opt for the path of least resistance or the one that takes greater effort?  We each answer that question for ourselves.  And the answer is not black & white either since sometimes we opt for one path & other times for the other.  I know that I am only human & sometimes I choose the wrong path yet thankfully I look back & see that the wrong path choices have been in the realm of the smaller “stuff.”  The big “stuff” has received big consideration.  I find the decisions about big “stuff” to be easier to make because I realize from experience that my life journey will follow a certain windy path as a result of those decisions.  The other thing is that for the really huge choices, I still seek wise counsel to test my thoughts, stretch my thinking & ensure that I am on the right track.  The wise counsel comes in a variety of sources including:  time spent in reflection to air out my thoughts, reading a reliable & valid book and or discussing the situation with someone who is a wise & worthy mentor who has my best interests at heart.

I would love to share the hugest turning point of my life with you.  This is the one that literally changed my life for the rest of my life.  The best part is that it came early on enough in my life to become a lifelong compass & treasure.  When I was 20 years old & in second year university, the turning point happened.  At that point I confess that I did not see it as the gift that it truly is.  Why?  It is because it came in the form of a gut wrenching situation.  When I was 19 years old & made my application to university & thought that I had it all figured out about my career path, I did not see the next year’s situation coming that’s for sure.  At 19 years old, I visualized my career in probation & parole & it was etched in stone in my mind.  In first & second year university I did several practicums with the probation office & found it to be fascinating.  I was forever reading criminology books & building a community of people that I sought guidance from in the field.  I was already building my resume in my field long before graduation very naturally (with help).  In my mind, I had figured out where I would be living & that I would have the life that I pictured when I was 19 years old.  Life has a funny way of changing things & in my case for the better.  I did not end up continuing in the career that I had all figured out nor in the city that I was convinced that I would live in.

In second year university, I loaded up on criminology courses within my sociology major.  There was one professor in particular who was especially enthusiastic about teaching his criminology courses & you had to sign up early for his courses because the students in our program soon learned that this professor really gave mind blowing lectures.  No one dozed off in his classes & the rate of absenteeism was the lowest on campus by far.  During second semester, this professor told us that we were going to see some real forensic police investigation photos from several grizzly crime scenes.  When the photos were shown on a huge screen in the lecture hall I found myself involuntarily having a combination wrenching sensation combined with a flood of tears come down my face.  All that went through my mind like a recording was, “these are somebody’s daughters & sons in these photos.”  It was heartbreaking.  It still is.  It was beyond sobering or any other word in the English language.  It did not take me long at all to realize that my plans for my career path were meeting up with a fork in the road.  I had to ask myself if I could “suck it up princess” & continue on in my chosen field of criminology or if I was going to make another choice for my career future.  My brain kept telling me that I had already chosen my career path & that I needed to stay the course.  My heart & gut told me something completely different.  It was a humbling time as well in that I found myself facing that I did not have the answers & that sometimes life throws a curve ball even with the best thought out plans.  I also knew that all of this was not the end of the world.  I certainly knew that I would somehow end up in the counseling field no matter what happened along the way so it was not like I was leaping from one completely different discipline to a polar opposite one.  And the thing was, even if that was the case, again, it soon became evident that the sky was not falling.

The photos as I mentioned were sickening.  Do I wish I could somehow have “unseen” them?  At the time, I would have answered a resounding, “yes!”  It did not take too many years however to realize that something so gut wrenching had been a turning point in my life.  It was not a big turning point as far as my career path was concerned.  It was a turning point in my thinking & my connection with my soul.  If that sounds dramatic, I don’t mean for it to.  It is just beyond huge & pretty difficult for words to describe fully.  I could not sleep at night after seeing the photos & could not stop thinking about these lost innocent sons & daughters.  My now husband (then boyfriend) had a close friend that had worked in a prison in the counseling field with violent offenders.  It did not take me long to realize that was the person that I needed to seek wise guidance from.  This friend, Keith, gave me a very compassionate smile, and suggested a few books.  He told me however to start with a book by Viktor Frankl called, “Man’s Search for Meaning.”  He advised me to run out & get it either from the library or the bookstore & read it right away.  He told me that it would make a difference.  He made sure that I knew that after I read the book that he would be there for me to talk to if needed.  Then he gave me a look that puzzled me.  What was that look I wondered.  The “look” I came to realize was one of knowledge that after reading this book that I would not need to talk to him because I would “get it” if I let myself “get it.”  Keith had faith that I would “get it.”  I miss Keith.  He was a dear friend for many, many years.  He was taken far too soon yet he remains with me always along with my original & very dog-earred copy of “Man’s Search for Meaning.”  This is a book that every single time I have picked it up has set me back onto the path for me again…every single time.  It was a turning point reading the book for the first time because I quickly realized that we have free will to choose.  When we choose “good”, then ripples of this choice enter the world & the opposite of this is true when “bad” choices are sent out into the world.  And I learned that through Viktor Frankl’s book that we have choice in every situation, that the will to choose is with us in celebration & in struggle.  That is great news because it means to me that even when life is not going the way I had hoped that I realize that I am so much more than my body & that I can choose my attitude.  I get to choose an attitude of a warrior vs a victim no matter what.  I love that.  And in the book, meaning is described in a way that I cannot do it justice.  When struggles have meaning, that changes everything in my mind.  When struggles just seem to be out there floating with no reason, it steals hope.  No body steals my hope & my heart’s hope for you is that nobody steals your hope either.

When type 1 diabetes reared its beastly head 6 years ago to live in my life & the life of my family, I looked at the diagnoses through the book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.”  The book again had me nodding as again it gave the answer for that struggle too.  And I also realized that type 1 diabetes was not anywhere even approaching a turning point in my life.  It was just on the path or journey of my life.  Like you, I did not see it coming & had no way of preventing it from coming.  In some ways I was ready for it way in advance though.  Thank-you Keith & thank-you big time Viktor Frankl.  When I put on my reading glasses, I see the words on the page clearer.  When I put on the lens that I see my life choices through, I wear the lens outlined in “Man’s Search for Meaning.”

My heart’s hope for you is that whether what appears to be a negative or positive huge turning point happens in your life that you receive the gift of a lens that brings meaning to the rest of your life.  Smiles, Saundie  :)

May every struggle strengthen you & next week's sharing is "One Tired Bear Climbing Each Mountain."   :)

Do you love Christmas & all that the tradition brings with it?  Do you embrace absolutely everything about the season or do you wish you could run away screaming from some of the inevitable events that the season brings each year?  You know that I have been given an off the Richter scale sentimental heart.  Even with my sentimental heart though there is a part of me that is bracing yet again for the month of December & early January.

The parts about Christmas that are favourites, I love & the portions of the season that I don’t like, I really detest beyond words.  And Christmas with type 1 diabetes I have found is complicated.  It is not just complicated because there is more food & missing carb data, but there is also more pressure for things that in my mind are not natural to occur.  There is the unspoken rule that we must appear to be having the best holiday season ever & that we are perfect hosts & hostesses.  If we are feeling unwell, we must continue on it seems.  There is so much to do in such a short time to work towards a perfect Christmas.  What is perfect though?  And really, does that exist?  We each answer that question for ourselves.  As often as possible, I try to laugh more during the holidays.  And I choose to not participate in things that don’t make sense to & for me.  Also, I value the uncomplicated yet full of love moments.  That can be an uphill battle I have found over the past 6 Christmas seasons living with type 1. 

Do you ever feel like you are the teacher from the Charlie Brown show?  It is the one that sounds like, “wah, wah, wha.”  You & I may share the experience that although we have advocated the heck out of type 1 that others have interpreted our words like the teacher from Charlie Brown.  I find it exasperating to be told what I should & should not eat at the best of times yet during the Christmas season, it is a heightened sensation.  And hearing unsolicited advice that if I did not do as much in terms of holiday preparations that I would have magical blood sugars is not music to my ears.  Come on, it does not work that way on an ordinary day much less during Christmas.  I would love to say at times as a retort, “save it.”  If each one of us walked around with a bubble caption above our heads it might be a hoot especially during the holidays.

Of course those around us mean well.  That’s great.  What is not so great is when we choose to be crystal clear about what will be helpful & what will not be & folks choose to discount this or do the exact opposite.  Why do they do that?  That is a good question.  I have found that a vast number of people that I have come across tend to do this because they are comfortable doing things the same way or the way they have always been done.  That drives me personally up the wall.  If something does not make sense, then why continue to do it the same way?  I am not a fan of the comfort zone approach to life.  Here’s an example & I hope that it does not sound petty.  When I am making a large meal, I need my space in every sense of the word.  I find that if folks gather in the kitchen while I am trying to work & organize the meal that my blood sugars ramp up in no time.  I will always say to Dear Heart guests that I really appreciate the offer for help in the kitchen however it would really be a huge help if they instead enjoyed themselves by visiting with the rest of the family in either the family room or living room.  I have shared more times than I can count with folks that unfortunately my blood sugars skyrocket when I have company in the kitchen while I am preparing a feast.  I guess my type 1 diabetes & I take up the whole kitchen in that way.  Unfortunately, there are still a few folks that no matter how clearly I explain the kitchen feast zone, they either tell me “oh that’s silly” or “oh you will feel better if I help” or just through actions do the polar opposite of my respectful request.  I try to remember that their hearts are in the right places yet it bugs me all the same.

I am not an advocate of appearing to have the perfect Christmas.  Instead, my focus is on having a natural, meaningful, other focused Christmas season.  A beautiful Christmas I believe would include:  the season truly being about the true meaning of Christmas & not consumerism on steroids, people behaving in a more caring fashion towards one another, giving love & kindness to one another & finding ways to reach out to others who are suffering.  To me, Christmas magnifies my belief that I need to constantly take my eyes off of myself & place them instead on reaching out in compassion to others.  For sure, I have a myriad of pet peeves including the one I mentioned about the kitchen.  A place beyond that though is the place where Christmas is at its finest. It is the place where we get to choose to reach deep within ourselves to reach out in care to others out there who also feel the magnification of the season.  They may be people who do not have a bed to sleep in, the warmth of shelter, a meal, a family, any friends or they may suffer chronic & even terminal illnesses.  They may be folks that are feeling hopeless and alone.  There are so many ways to reach out in small ways with compassion & love. 

When I think about Christmas 2013, there are 2 things that I keep as my compass throughout the season.  One is that I am so grateful to have my childhood sweetheart as my husband, 3 amazing sons to love, family & friends to love, a home in an area that I still pinch myself to be able to live in, healthy food, and everything that truly matters.  The second compass is to always be mindful of others within my human family who are struggling in any way.  Some people are hungry for food & others hungry for love, caring, compassion, or hope.  I am only 1 person, yet I still get to put every ounce of my care into giving love to others in the ways that are whispered to me all year long.  That is how I choose to keep the spirit of Christmas alive all year long.  When we see someone who is lonely, do we take those precious moments to sit down beside that person & say hi & ask them if they would like some company?  How many moments do we miss?  With all my heart I know that all joy that I have been given must immediately be given away.  I love that.  I get that big time.   I cannot tell you how many times lately I have had people say to me that they can see that I know them but that they cannot remember where they know me from.  Guess what?  They are folks that I am just meeting for the first time.  I think they get this feeling that we know each other already because I have looked them in the eye & smiled my biggest smile full of presence.  My favorite response to people when they ask where they know me from is to say, “You know me from today, the first day we became new friends.”  Maybe we cross paths again & maybe not but I carry friendships with me.  Once I care about someone & call them friend that to me is for life.  That is joy full circle to me.

Yes, some parts of Christmas are an absolute blast & very jolly.  Other parts of the season, I find myself subduing my feisty thankfully invisible bubble captained responses.  And other parts I laugh my butt off about  times when the turkey takes twice as long to cook as I had estimated & we find ourselves eating everything in stages.  Better still, I laugh with my heart & soul to see our sons beaming ear to ear while they sing a silly song with reindeer antlers on while dancing the Macarena.  I love watching my Dad come in to our home with his Santa hat on & a brand new Christmas book to read our sons on Christmas Eve.  I love watching our 3 sons polish off my Mom’s homemade meatballs, sausage rolls, cookies and squares like ravenous beasts.  I love singing Christmas carols with friends in the wrong tempo & laughing at ourselves.  I love baking & decorating Christmas alligator cookies & then arranging the alligator cookies on the plate with gingerbread boys to make the alligators look like they are chasing the gingerbread boys.  It is super fun to eat these cookies with our younger 2 sons as we pretend that the alligators ate the gingerbread so that we can justify eating a couple more cookies by saying that the alligators were extra hungry.  I will be forever grateful to be able to crank up my insulin pump & savour anything that I want to over the holidays. I get to choose to respond with humour when someone asks me if it okay for me to be having that café mocha with whip cream with, “let me check with my pancreas” as I look down at my insulin pump & dial up the number of units I will need to cover off my treat & reply, “yes, my pancreas insists!”  And it brings joy each year to play the song, “My Christmas Prayer” as loudly as possible & embrace & live those precious words. 

My heart’s hope for you is that there are lots of jolly portions present in your holidays, invisible bubble captions for the feisty when needed, and that anything that resembles a mess or not approaching perfection is looked beyond with a smile by choice to the place where the true meaning of Christmas lives. 

Feliz Navidad!

Blessings, Saundie :)

Well just a wee bit over 2 weeks to go before this year's messy, jolly Christmas festivities.  May this be a beautiful & meaningful season for you.  Next Monday's sharing is, "The Turning Point Long Ago."     :)